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My Year’s Supply of Gum

My situation as it stands at the moment is seemingly problematic.

I am planning on going to University in September, and my biggest problem seems to be my nutrition rather than what you would think is most important – the actual work. No, that’s not a problem at all.

The student finance people have been kind enough to give me a maintenance loan which will cover just half of my accomodation, therefore I shall be scrounging off my parents until I find a job – which to be honest, is quite unlikely.

So therefore, to keep myself alive, I have to buy food, and my parents have no faith in me that I will manage this successfully. My family also has this presumption that I can’t live without cheese, literally. It’s a pretty weak opinion, because I can, food just doesn’t taste as good without it.

Anyway, I will likely starve half of the time, considering I have no set list of recipes and such, which I really should make. Plus, some food I just can’t make, I can make macaroni, but obviously that contains a large amount of cheese, and apparently that’s expensive.

I’m digressing, at some point during the next year, it is likely that I will be alone and destitute in my room, my stomach rumbling like a motorbike. This precognition of events triggered a thought in my head that stemmed from the visit of my ‘uncle’ from Boston.

I kindly asked him to bring me some chewing gum, just a bit, because I found a flavour I quite liked. I certainly didn’t expect him to bring back a couple KILOGRAMS of the stuff. I mean, it’s a tad OTT. So at this moment, I have about 2-3 years supply of chewing gum – considering I am not exactly an avid chewer.

Now, back to the present, well the future. When I am groaning for nutrition, looking gaunt and in need of a hug, I will know that locked away in my cupboard is tonnes of chewing gum. So for sure, when I run out of food and money, I’ll always have gum, which to tell the truth is not the happiest of thoughts, even if it is somewhat tasty.

I believe the best solution to this incredible amount of gum is to devise some sort of recipes made from gum. Maybe I can leave it to harden and carve it into shapes of actual food to convince my brain that yes, this is nutrition. And hopefully that old myth of it taking 7 years to digest chewing gum won’t exist.

At least my teeth will be xylitol strengthened.

Lovely. :/

Taken in Instagram for effect.